who's afraid of ... everything?

Last night my Fee - Yawn - Say and I settled down to watch the newest episode of Walking Dead.  We sat huddled on the couch together and squealed in unison at every surprise zombie that reared its ugly head.
It was awesome.

Then we had to decide who was going to let the dog out.

Fee-Yawn-Say:  Why don't you let Herby out?

Me:  Oh, you know ... I think I'm going to brush my teeth.  Or drink this glass of water.  Or pick this imaginary piece of lint of my shirt.  Or something really, really important.

Fee-Yawn-Say:  Well I don't want to go outside.  What if there are Zombies?

Me:  Exactly.  That's exactly why you need to go outside.  You're the man.

Fee-Yawn-Say:  Well, you know I don't believe in those gender roles.

And that's how it goes every time we watch something scary.  Which tends to be a issue because we've developed this (SERIOUS) addiction to the Investigation Discovery Channel.  No, really.  It's a problem.

What should we do tonight?  Date night?  Crafting?  Listening to music by the romantic fire?

Nope.  How about we watch Fatal Vows?  (Of course!  Terrific!)  Deadly Women?  (I knew we were meant to be together!)  Stalked?  (You come up with the sweetest ideas!)

Sigh.  If only those shows didn't end with "And this serial killer could be your neighbor.  No, really.  He could be next door...they never caught him..."

Crap.

I just hope that I develop some sense of  bravery before I have kids.  I have visions of my pudgy toddler waddling in ...
"Mommy, I think there's something under my bed!"
Oh, really?  Um.  That stinks, honey.  I hope you didn't want me to look under there.
"Mommy, there's something in my closet!"
Well, that's really too bad.  The flashlight is in the kitchen drawer.
"Mommy, something went bump in the night!"
Good luck with that.
"Mommy, I'm afraid of the dark!"
ME TOO!!!!

Not sure how that's going to go over.  What would I do if I actually found something in the closet - under the bed - behind the shower curtain?  Probably faint.

So, wish me luck.  It's a tough life being afraid of everything.




xoxo,
the unsolicited baker