The Unsolicited Baker: shut your pie hole

I really love the idea of Key Lime Pie. It sounds refreshing and light...like my obsession with all things lemon. But darn it if I just can't get myself into this dessert. I've tried it a hundred times. I made a valiant effort to eat it ... As a pie. As a cookie. As a martini (much better). As an ice cream. It SOUNDS so wonderful.

BUT...

I'm going to call it quits. I'm shutting this pie hole down. I still don't like key lime pie. I still think condensed sweetened milk smells like baby food. For the love! I can't have my ice cream smelling like Gerber. Nope. Get this stuff outta my freezer! I've been singing with a Bieber Fever..."Baby, Baby, Baby...Nooooooooooo..."

BUT...

To all of you who just so happen to LOVE key lime pie...and all its baby food glory? It apparently tastes pretty fabulous. This ice cream is for you...and I will deliver it to your house shortly.

Shut Your Pie Hole Key Lime Ice Cream

(Complete with Recipe Commentary...lucky you!)

1 1/2 Cups of Whole Milk (my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard...)

1/2 Cup Bottled Key Lime Juice (didn't have any fancy schmancy key lime juice...so I used Sicilian lime juice...to me, it sounds just as pretentious)

1/2 Cup of Heavy Cream (totally digging this stuff)

Dash of Salt (still not sure if I know what a dash actually is)

1 (14 oz) Can of Sweetened Condensed Milk (eeew)

Key Lime Zest (from about four key limes...those suckers are teeny tiny and cute)

Neon Green Food Coloring (cause I didn't learn my lesson the last time)

2 Sheets of Graham Crackers (these? I can get into)

_________

Combine everything (sans graham crackers) in a large bowl. Whisk it baby. Try not to ralph from the condensed milk.

Pour into Fancy (your ice cream maker...always giving you the cold shoulder). Freeze for 20 minutes. Add graham cracker crumbs and freeze for 5 more minutes.

Enjoy (if you can).