you might be cranky if...

(I must preface this post with the fact that I was a wee bit cranky this morning...)

I ran out of contacts last week and had to make an eye appointment for this morning.  I must have blocked out the memory of this place because it was truly a test of my patience this morning.  I went in super early to fill out my paperwork...and left 1 hour and 42 minutes later.  Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!  Um, excuse me?  Could you PUH-LEEZE take me to see the doctor instead of talking about your baby's laundry detergent?  I'm going to go all smashy on your doctor's office in about 5 minutes.  And thank you for taking my driver's license and leaving it in the copier.  My eyes are starting to dart around looking for breakables.  Smash!  Smash!  

So I wait.  And wait some more.  Then, thank goodness, the crazy eye lady comes to get me.  Picture this...middle age, frizzy hair, red glasses, questionable scarf choice, seriously wrong underwear and the wide eyed twitchy squirrel look that could only be brought about by way too many cups of coffee.  She takes me to the hallway where they have all the fancy check your eye stuff, where I proceeded to wink this lady to death during the glaucoma test.  Then we go into a dimly lit office where I sit in the chair and she fiddles on the computer.  Oh, yes.  I did see you forget your password for the computer FOUR times.  Sigh.  Then she asks me to take off my glasses and read how many fingers she's holding up.  Um.  Six?  Like the number of cats you might be hoarding at home?  Am I right?  What did I win?

Suddenly, she leans back in her chair and lets out an enormous sigh...

Eye Lady:  Sigh.  Groan.  Oh my goodness...it's all coming back to me!

Me: (Thinking) What?  What came back to you?  How to do your job?

Eye Lady: Oh, well, this morning I woke up and my head was a hurting.  I thought I was going to throw up and it hurt from here...to here (demonstrating various head areas).  I thought I must have a migraine.

Me:  Oh, I get those sometimes.  Actually, I have some Excedrin Migraine in my bag...would you like some?  (Why I did this, I'll never know.  I was half asleep and way too nice.)

Miss I Take Pills From Strangers:  OH, wonderful!  I'll just take three.

Me.  Um.  Well, they have a LOT of caffeine in them.  Maybe you should take one or two.

Cat Hoarding Pill Popper:  Ha. Aha. Ha. Ha. Ha. HA.  I drink a pot of coffee before work every morning...I don't get the jitters any more.  Ha. Ahahahah.  Ha. HA.  (I think her eye may have actually twitched).

Me:  Okay.  (Thinking) This lady most definitely has a creepy doll collection too.

She left me in the romantically lit office while I waited for the doctor.  FOR. EV. ER.  I tried to Dalai Lama myself into zen but it just wasn't working.  Now, I consider myself a pretty conscientious person.  When I'm going to be so close to someone in a confined setting, I brush my teeth and chew gum.  Not my eye doc.  He walked in to check my peepers and got up close and personal.  His breath almost knocked me out while I was staring at the giant mole in the middle of his face through the lenses.  My breath?  It would have been more minty fresh if you had seen me an hour ago.  I almost wish I had garlic for breakfast.

Well, my exam is over and I'm not feeling so stabby any more.  In fact, I got a little wistful thinking that Eye Lady and Eye Doc are probably harboring secret love feelings for each other.  One thing is certain today.  I am switching eye care centers.

Hmmmm.  I'm not even sure how to transition into my tasty treat of the day...except to say that they take me to a happier place than my eye doctor's office.

Enter the S'MORES BAR!  I love S'mores.  Really, truly, utterly love them.  Every good memory of family vacations in the mountains and summer camp extravaganzas are filled with the smell of burning marshmallows.  When I saw this recipe for a S'mores bar, I couldn't help myself.  They are made with Golden Grahams which give it a surprisingly similar taste.  When I tried them, I chewed and thought...Wow.  These taste like S'mores.  I chewed some more and was all DANG!  THESE TASTE LIKE S'MORES!  Happy dance around the kitchen...they are as easy to make as a batch of Rice Krispy Treats!  I spent less than ten minutes getting everything together.  And, wouldn't you know?  There's no campfire needed!  Because, honestly?  My hair can't take much more than the humid summer weather.  Flat to Frizz to Fro in 60 seconds.  Add on a fire?  No thanks.  Here's hoping you have a lovely, smash-free Monday.  You should make the bars...total zen. xo, the unsolicited baker (Thank you, Thank you, Thank you browneyedbaker!)